Can You Teach a Baby Discipline?

Medically Reviewed by Micah Resnick, M.D., F.A.A.P. | November 17, 2021

Your baby is mobile, or nearly so! That’s exciting, but it’s also the beginning of a whole new level of trouble when it comes to making mischief. But your baby isn’t deliberately trying to make messes, or risk his life and limbs (and yours…and the cat’s). He’s simply finding new ways and new opportunities to explore his environment, a sure sign of intelligence and security.

While he once stayed put on his blanket, playing with his toys, he can now make his way into more dangerous territory. So what’s on the agenda these days? In addition to baby-proofing your home, you also have your first chance at teaching discipline.

Can you teach discipline to a baby?

Babies are naturally curious — after all, everything around them is new and different. Your little one is eager to explore his surroundings — which is a good thing! — but as your baby approaches his first birthday, you can start to teach him that some of these surroundings can be dangerous and are off-limits.

When do babies understand "no"?

At about 9 to 10 months, your baby’s memory improves, making him more receptive to new learning. So where your choruses of “No!” and “Hot!” and “Dangerous!” once went in one cute little ear and out the other, he can now begin to recall your words, actions and tone of voice from one day to the next.

Introducing discipline at this stage helps you start to teach lessons about right versus wrong, caring and respect for others, self-control and safety. True, these are pretty big concepts, and helping your baby learn them will take years, but that’s all part of growing up.

How do you discipline a baby?

Also known as the rules for making rules:

Don’t always say "no." Babies understand that “no” means “no” around 9 months if used firmly and consistently. But consistent use is not the same as overuse. Save “no” for dangerous behaviors such as touching the stove or going near electrical sockets.
Do redirect him. Picking your baby up and placing him in another location, giving him a toy or taking away a toy are all good ways to indicate that it’s time for a change. When you want your baby to stop doing something undesirable, employ language like “stop” or “don’t do that” followed by redirection.
Do tell and show your baby how much you love him. Remember, you’re correcting his behaviors, not him. Model politeness and respect (with him and everyone else!).
Don’t be too strict or rigid. If you set your standards too high, it’s hard for your little one to feel like he can succeed and develop the self-control he needs to behave even when out of your sight. But…
Do be strict enough. Setting limits that are fair helps him feel loved and protected — boundaries teach safety. If you’re overly permissive, he may get the sense that you don’t care what he does.
Don’t let down your guard about safety. You might be teaching your baby that the stove is hot or the stairs are steep, but don’t count on him to avoid temptation.
Do take personality into account. Some babies require a firm tone of voice, while others respond better to a gentler one. Still others must be physically removed from a dangerous area before they get the message. And circumstances (like introducing a new sitter or an erupting tooth) matter too when it comes to getting your message across.
Don’t shame, criticize or strike your child. Disciplining a child is sometimes as difficult for parents to do as it is for children to receive, but it's important to manage your emotions. Your baby isn’t trying to be cruel to the cat by pulling her tail; he’s just curious about what will happen when he does. Children, and especially babies, are not intentionally trying to be cruel or malicious. Responding to behavior by spanking, shaming or criticizing can lead to issues of aggression or lack of confidence later in life.
Do be consistent. Telling your baby not to climb up on a chair one day, then letting him do it the next is confusing. So is saying “don’t touch” without following up if (when!) he ignores your request. It takes a lot of patience and repetition to teach adherence.
Do catch him being good. Praise him for offering a toy to a little friend or for “helping” you with a chore. Accentuating the positive is truly powerful!