Bath time, bath time is so fun, bath time is for everyone. That is, until your toddler decides that it isn't — and she's never getting in the tub again.
Protesting everyday parts of your regular routine is par for the course for your little one these days as she flexes her independence muscle again (and again, and again). It's also not uncommon for a tot to have bathtime snafus that leave her suds-shy, like slipping and falling or getting water in her nose.
Despite her shifty stance though, she still needs to get clean. Here's what you can do to bring her back on board, plus how long your toddler's anti-bath phase will likely last.
Why do toddlers hate baths?
Many tots relish their nightly splashfests. That said, it's pretty common for your little bather to suddenly decide she's straight up done with baths (much like she did with her former favorite snack or once beloved blue shoes). The most likely reasons why:
- She just wants to call the shots. Your toddler's go-to way to let you know she's in control: refusing to do things she's readily done (and even liked) before.[1]
- She had an unpleasant experience. It's common for your sweetie to resist baths if she hit her head on the faucet last week or balk after she got bubbles in her eyes. She might even be bath-wary from another negative water experience in the pool or at the beach.
- She's scared. Toddlers get frightened by a loud vacuum, an overenthusiastic dog or even Santa. So it's definitely possible that your cutie has developed a fear of the tub, like going down the drain with the bath water.
When do toddlers grow out of their fear of baths?
Much like that sudsy bubble mountain, your munchkin's tub terror will fizzle out before long. Many of the situations that spook her now will become a nonissue as she grows into a more mature preschooler, who's capable of thinking a little more rationally.[2]
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That said, you won't have to wait months (or years) before you're able to give your little one another bath. (Pee-eew!) Some gentle reassurance should help desensitize her — and make her more willing to take a regular dip.
What to do when your toddler refuses to take a bath
Good news: You don't actually need to do battle every night when your toddler is in a no-bath phase. It's perfectly fine to limit baths to two to three times per week, as long as she's not visibly dirty, sweaty or sticky.[3] (And if she's got dry skin, fewer soaks will actually do her good.)
When it is time for the tub, these tips can help get your munchkin more on board with the bath.
- Let her move. If you haven't already, ditch the safety seat (but make sure the tub bottom is slip-proof). Being able to splash around more freely may wash away her resistance.
- Go for the gear. Tub toys rock, so supply her with nonirritating soap crayons and bubbles, as well as plastic cups, stick-to-the-wall letters and animals, and a couple of rubber ducks (who can resist?). Be sure to rotate the assortment every month or two.
- Switch up the timing. The novelty of a bath before dinner instead of after, for example, may seem totally fascinating to a tot. Up your enthusiasm ("Who wants a bath at a special time?!"), and she just might match your excitement with some of her own.
- Enlist a bath-mate. That could be you — with or without your swimsuit! You might also wrangle your partner or an older sibling for a soak á deux. Just remember, when showering or bathing together, keep the water temperature warm (not hot) for the sake of her sensitive skin.
- Try pretend play. Invite your tot to use her imagination to turn the tub into a pirate ship that sails the high seas, or a fishing boat trawling for her next catch. If she needs some encouragement, try reading a water-themed tale tub-side.
- Invite someone else to do the job. If you have a frequent sitter or caregiver who comes over, try saving the bath for them to tackle (at least temporarily). Even though your toddler may push the sudsy limits with you, she might be perfectly happy to go with the flow for someone else.
- Keep it short and sweet. Your sweetie can go a couple days without a bath. But if her refusal isn't easing up, at some point, you'll still have to bathe her. So get the job done as fast as you can and move on to another activity to divert your toddler's attention. And even though it might be tough, try to keep your cool. Losing it won't make things easier.
What to do when your toddler won't sit in the bath
Got a stander on your hands? A tot who's content to step foot in the tub but won't keep her bum firmly planted is a serious slip-and-fall hazard. A few helpful strategies for getting her clean while keeping her safe:
- Add a nonslip mat. A rubber mat will give your active bather a little more traction when she decides to pop up, reducing her risk of slipping.
- Turn it into a game. How long can your cutie stay on her butt for? When you turn sitting down into a challenge, she might be more prone to stay put.
- Consider a shower. If she wants to stay standing, the shower's the place to do it. Hop in with her or stay stationed by the shower door — your choice.
- Offer a warning, then take her out. If a shower's not an option, lay out the no-standing rule for your toddler and give her one or two warnings. Let her know that if she breezes past them, tub time is automatically over — and follow through with the consequence.
What to do when your toddler has a sudden fear of the bath
Your toddler's tub phobia might seem completely irrational. But it's real to her, so recognize that and help her feel supported. Chances are a little TLC is just what she needs to get on board with the bath again. Some tips:
- Talk it out. If a boo-boo in the bath or another specific incident sparked the scaries, discuss what happened. Let your toddler know you understand how she feels ("I'd be scared too if I hurt myself, honey"), and offer reassurances ("We'll make sure your eyes are closed when we wash your hair").
- Take baby steps. Slowly desensitize your toddler to bath time. If she balks at getting into a tub full of water, start by having her sit in an empty bath with her clothes on. Then fill it with just a few inches and sponge her clean. Once she's okay with that, you can try adding a little more water at the next bath, and so on.
- Praise her efforts. Give your cutie a confidence boost by acknowledging her progress. Tell her how proud you are that she sat in the tub (even if it was barely filled), cheer her on, or even offer her a small reward like a sticker or stamp.
- Don't ignore it or force your toddler to get in the bath. You'll only end up making the situation worse — and maybe even spawn a bigger fear (like a fear of water in general).
It can be frustrating when your toddler decides that baths just aren't her thing anymore. But chances are she'll bounce back to Team Tub soon enough. In the meantime, try to be patient, and maybe plan a relaxing bath for yourself after she's off to bed.
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