You may be thinking more about 50 shades of pink or blue for the nursery than 50 shades of gray in your bedroom. Still, if you experimented with S&M before or are looking for new ways to satisfy a boost in your sex drive during pregnancy, you might be wondering whether it's actually possible to safely enjoy it when you're expecting.
The fact is, being pregnant doesn’t have to put a damper on your sex life. As long as your doctor has given the green light to red-light activities during pregnancy, there’s no reason to shy away from whatever turns you and your partner on.
In general, blood flow increases to the genital area during pregnancy. Take extreme care using any sex toys or partaking in rough sex. If you notice any significant vaginal bleeding, call your practitioner and head in for an exam, if recommended.
With that in mind, brush up on some additional guidelines, depending on where your fantasies take you.
Bondage during pregnancy
If you're considering bondage when you're expecting, try a gentle version that can accommodate your blooming bump and changing threshold for pain and discomfort. A baby belly can make some sex positions uncomfortable, and even risky from a medical standpoint.
For instance, lying flat on your back — and being tied up in that position — is not recommended after the fourth month. It puts the weight of your expanding uterus on the vena cava, the main vein that carries blood back to the heart from your lower body region, which can interfere with your circulation.
Staying in any one position for too long can also be pretty uncomfortable when you're expecting. Speak up if something doesn’t feel right — a good reason not to muzzle.
Also keep in mind that the swelling many women experience during pregnancy might make bonds around your wrists and ankles feel tighter and less comfortable, so tread lightly. You might want to switch from handcuffs if you use them to lightly tied silk scarves instead.
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Bottom line: Bondage during pregnancy is okay — as long as your partner errs on the side of vanilla and you communicate clearly with each other throughout the session.
Erotic asphyxiation while pregnant
Erotic asphyxiation is off-limits when you're expecting (and can be deadly even if you're not). Any sexual activities that purposefully or even unintentionally restrict your ability to breathe, like muzzles, are a bad idea in general — and an even worse idea if you're pregnant.
That's because air restriction can cut off oxygen supply to you, and, in turn, your baby. Definitely not worth the risk.
Spanking during sex while pregnant
Have you been naughty (at least in your fantasies)? Then there’s no reason why your partner can’t give you a nice spanking — as long as you’re up for it. Just make sure it’s very gentle, and that it's on your backside only, never your belly.
Role-playing while pregnant
If answering the "repairman" at your front door in a racy teddy is how you get your sexy on, by all means invite him in. But if you enjoy S&M role-playing scenarios that invoke a false sense of fear, you might want to postpone those until after you deliver.
Feeling like you’re in danger can certainly trigger excitement — but it’s not the kind you want to stir up when you’re pregnant. Intense fear can cause the release of the stress hormone cortisol, and the last thing you need right now is more stress.
Remember too, that you should not consent to anything you think might cross the line to abuse. If in doubt, let your partner know that you're not comfortable and suggest other ways to get intimate that do make you feel safe.
Worried that your very R-rated activities may not be appropriate now that you're a parent-to-be? Don’t be. Your baby can’t see what you’re doing, and you’ll have sexy memories to reminisce about when you’re busy changing diapers in a few months!
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