If "doing it" isn't topping your to-do list these days, you’re not alone. Lots of new moms lose their mojo for a variety of valid reasons. For starters, postpartum sex can be more pain than pleasure, and sleep deprivation — far from an aphrodisiac. Plus, you’ve got a very cute but very demanding newborn who requires feeding, changing, and cuddling anytime he’s not asleep. Toss in sweats that smell like spit-up and hair that you haven’t brushed or washed in days, and it’s no wonder you’re in no mood for love.
The good news: Like everything else in your often overwhelming new-mom life, it just takes time and patience for that urge to reemerge. In the meantime, try these tricks to get your sexy back.
Unwind. Loosen up. A small glass of wine before you get down to business can help relax you — so you don’t tense up in anticipation of pain (which, of course, increases pain). Just make sure to have those sips after a feeding if you’re nursing. A pre-sex massage can work wonders too — so put in a request with your partner.
Ask for lots of foreplay. Before things heat up, warm up. While your sex-starved partner may not need much (if any) foreplay, you definitely do. So ask for it. The more effort he puts into warming up your engine, the more likely you’ll both end up purring.
Experiment with positions. Line ‘em up. You’re achy and sore after delivering your baby — even if you made it through without a single stitch. It takes some experimenting, but it is worth your bedroom time to find the sex position that feels best or at least hurts least — and lets you control how deep he goes. You-on-top and side-to-side are popular postpartum picks. Whoever's in charge of the strides, remember: Slow and steady wins this race.
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Do your Kegels. And finally, pump it up. Blood flow, that is — to all the right places. Combine the business of retightening pelvic-floor muscles with pleasure by doing everyone’s favorite exercise: Kegels. Do them day and night (and don't forget to do them while you're doing "it" too). Working out was never this much fun!
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