Toddlers are just the cutest, easiest little things ever aren't they? Wait... what's so funny? Why are you laughing? Oh, yes. Because while toddlers may be the cutest, they are far, far, oh-so-far from the easiest. I've been told, however, that teenagers are even worse. Can't wait!

Anywho, I happen to love having two toddlers tottering around the place and under my feet (except for those times that I step on them or they manage to trip me). They're my cutie pies, my loves, my pride and joy. I've always wanted a pair of little devils trapped in angels' bodies, and now I have them -- a girl and a boy! But gee willickers, there are some pretty amusing things about raising these darling little dictators. Allow me to reveal six funny truths about toddlers that I really didn't know until I had them:

1. They yell... a lot. Why, you ask? That's like asking why your husband puts dishes right next to the dishwasher instead of inside it. Nobody knows. I think it has something to do with finding it supremely funny and fun and deriving some kind of twisted pleasure in shouting so loudly that they burst their parents' eardrums.

2. They say "No!" way more than "Yes." Is it because it rolls off the tongue more easily or is more entertaining to say? Or is it just that whole "toddlers are asserting their independence" thing? Hard to say. But I have to admit, I've been kind of blindsided by just how much more they say the N word over the Y word. It's enough to give any self-respecting mom a complex (or a headache).

3. They steal. They grab, they pillage, they swipe -- everything from food, toys and books to jewelry, money and gift cards. Or is that just my toddlers? Sometimes it's right from someone else's hand, in plain view. Other times it's behind the person's back. My daughter has stolen all sorts of things she wanted from her brother, her mother, even her father and then stashed them away in her little hiding places.

4. They're sneaky. My daughter is as quiet as a cat -- make that a cat burglar -- when she's tiptoeing out of bed to find Mommy or Daddy or just get herself into some trouble by going through our things. She has startled me so many times by just standing there silently, I've lost count. And she's very, very charming when she wants something. She'll cozy up to me, compliment me and after several minutes I realize that it's not me she wants, it's my iPhone.

5. They're obsessed with keys, washing hands and rifling through your purse. I mean, I kind of get the appeal, but these obsessions rise to a whole new level. And that's where toddlers lose me. How interesting is it, really, to wash your hands under running water for an hour, or endlessly jangle keys and try fitting them into locks? Rifling through Mom's purse, I'll give them. That is pretty fascinating!

6. They can be almost as bad at sleeping as newborns. While they do snooze for longer stretches and often can make it through the night without waking up, toddlers are notorious for prolonging bedtime so that it's roughly as long as the Oscars. Their tactics for delaying beddie bye can be as cunning and conniving as the schemes of a professional con artist.

Anything to add to the list? What has surprised you most about toddlers?